I hate most people. Especially those who say they’re supporting a cause, and it turns out they’re wearing some fucking wristbands.

Oh, well done! You’re supporting the fight against cancer by buying a $1 wristband, or you’re trying to fight Internet censorship by putting hashtags in Twitter saying #nocensorship! That’s great, you really, honestly care about your cause!

Fuck you all.

Slacktivism is the word, but the word isn’t important. You’re all lazy assholes who sit around thinking you made a difference, when in fact you did exactly zero things. You put a bumper sticker saying “VOTE OBAMA”, but did you actually vote for him? Or is that so you can get with the Democrat chicks? You wear a yellow ribbon on your shirt all day… for ONE DAY. Do you really think you’re making a difference, or is this for show?

If you want to help, work in a fucking soup kitchen, you pretentious assholes. Go collect actual signatures on a piece of paper on the street. Volunteer and donate a new wing for the hospital. Jesus fucking Christ, just do something, ANYTHING, constructive. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re not doing shit if you’re sitting in an armchair and typing a few words into a 50-word box. You’re not helping the environment if you’re turning off the lights for an hour, because an hour later you’ll just be on the damn thing like nothing ever happened! You’re not helping cure cancer if you let your computer idle while it crunches numbers for Folding@home. Sure, you might feel good about it, and maybe it will help the researchers at Stanford, but it’s not called help if you’re not doing anything.

Helping’s not about feeling good like karma’s going to pay you back, it’s a long-term investment. If you want to help, go to Africa and give people their HIV medicine. You twisted assholes.

There are funny things and there are unfunny things. SNL falls in the former (it’s funny again) and there’s CollegeHumor. It’s basically making unfunny videos that stupid people in college would find unbelievable funny. That’s the students in community college, by the way. Not even a jock drinking a six pack of PBR who plays Halo 3 and sticks his dick into anything that is passed out would find this funny. Such “classics” like Brohemian Rhapsody which takes the piss out of one of the greatest songs of all time or Rock Band Yoko Ono which is just plain dumb (Uncyclopedia dumb) should be relegated to the deep recesses of Hell. Yeah, so the girls are cute and it reminds me of Hot Chicks with Douchebags, girls “acting” with idiotic guys who think they’re so cool and they’ll get a job writing for Conan or something because they were at CollegeHumor.

When I mean unfunny, I mean it. It’s about as tasteless as comedy goes, and it’s about as funny as dragging a dead horse across Highway 99. When I mean it’s pandering to college students I mean it’s written by people who think college people are into songs about getting wasted and shit. Maybe they do, but if that’s the case then I shouldn’t be applying for UC Berkeley.

It’s apparently not my day today. Firstly, I’ve gotten two detentions on different days for no clear reason other than the teachers seem to feel like it, and that moron head of year (I hope she dies in a fire. Yes, if YOU’RE READING IT, I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE IN A FIRE) decides that I have not been improving at all since last year. Which is ridiculous. What does that mean? That all the work I HAVE been doing doesn’t exist? My media coursework and my editing on that stupid iMac is just gone? It’s in some sort of imaginary work pugatory? Because it’s not, I’ve been taking time off and getting out of bed early on Tuesdays to work on my damn video (which may or may not be on Vimeo before October 5, if you care).

The fact that I’m not getting any recognition for my coursework that I am doing and I have done is sickening and I can’t believe people like her have jobs in the education sector. Maybe she’s more suited to making threats in collection agencies, I don’t know.

And then, I can’t hand in my DT coursework pages because the damn teacher isn’t there. So… what? Next she’s going to what, make me hand it in during Christmas? So I have the stuff I’ve printed out on me, but she still says I’ve only handed 3 out of 16 (!) pieces of work and I have a detention. On Tuesday. On the day I’m having to go and edit my film. Which is due on the 5th of next month.

This is one giant, colossal, atomic FML if there ever was one.

Oh, and to said head of year (you know who you are): I hope you die in a fire after contracting anthrax and rabies after getting hit by a large truck after being blinded by a sharp stick. I don’t give a fuck if you read it or not. Hell, read it! It’s not like I don’t have anything to lose. I’ll go off to another school that doesn’t hamper my learning and tries to stop me from trying to do well, which was something they tried to tell me LAST YEAR. (Also noted: the Google searches on how to get away with murder mean nothing.)

(If you are the authorities, the following post is completely false. All of it.)

I’ve been acting all piratey, with my downloading the unreleased (!) Rock Band Unplugged PSP game (which isn’t bad, actually) and the torrent of a bigass HD film featuring the one guy who’s way better looking than Hugh Jackman (in my opinion, anyway)… Clive Owen. It seems to be in nice quality, though Windows Media Player sucks shit and won’t decode the audio, when I discovered WMP 11 doesn’t do AC3. Reall?y? You can’t do one of the most popular audio formats in the world? You can’t be serious.

Anyway, I’m thinking of getting all uber piratey and burning it to a DVD, but that requires lots of transcoding. So whatever.

Speaking of transcoding, my laptop is suspiciously slow for some reason. In Firefox, when I go to any site, it will suddenly slow down, and anything I type with just freeze and suddenly work again. Like right now. And right now. And… now. You get the point. Then again, I haven’t restarted my computer in ages, so that may be the problem. But come on, it’s the FUCKING 21ST CENTURY! I do not expect my computer to be taken to a world of suck just because it can’t handle being used for a month straight without a restart. I was also under the impression that Bill Gates (or Bill G for you gangsta rappers running on Windows) said that XP was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very stable.

Or maybe he used less of those very’s.

Then again, it’s not all fun and games with Windows. My computers that run Windows usually have one problem or the other, but unlike some wussy faggots out there that crouch and hide at the sound of an error message that move to Mac at their earliest convenience, I suck it up and take it like a man and I keep using Windows… or at least move to Slackware. Wonderful bastards, mastering the Linux kernel like that, those coders.

Anyway, back to torrenting shit.

You’d think that with my recently newfound credit card statement mending powers, I’d be buying that game I really really want, aka. Ghost Recon on Steam. Psh. As if.

Sadly a good thirty minutes after I bought Rainbow Six, I got a call. I had no idea it was Citi. Sheeeeeit. Now, the card is declined, and that’s bad because um, it’s not technically my card. Whoops.

Anyway, it’s been 24 hours and I still can’t use the card, meaning it’s been blocked/declined/held for a while now, and that usually means that it will stay that way for ever and ever and ever. (Drag the image and click the zoom button to see the words of horror displayed in red.)

Curse you all, banks, e-tailers, etc.